Hanyou on a Hot Plate
by Hedgehogmadhatter
Summary: GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER? Will Inuyasha survive 1 holiday dinner with his hysterical pregnant wife Kagome & Sesshomaru? Also is childbirth scarier than Sesshomaru? Funny follow up to Southern Fried Hanyou & Hanyou hits the Frying Pan. COMPLETE
1. Kagome Loses Her Mind

_**Hanyou on a Hot Plate **_

_**Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?**_

_Funny sequel to **Southern Fried Hanyou** and **The Hanyou hits the Frying Pan.** Kagome's pregnant and her hormones have gotten the best of her. The only family she has is Souta and he's only the other side of the globe. She gets the wacky idea Inuyasha needs to mend fences with his rotten half brother Sesshomaru so the baby can have a family and invites him to dinner. Of course chaos reigns. Will Inuyasha survive one dinner with his hysterical pregnant wife and Sesshomaru? Will Kagome spent the rest her life sleeping on the couch? Or will Sesshomaru finally make good on his promise to kill Inuyasha? And the biggest question, will Inuyasha survive the delivery room? Is it possible that childbirth is scarier than Sesshomaru? _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

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_One: Kagome Loses Her Mind_

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Really it did. Kagome would be telling herself that years later as she shook her head still not quite understanding just how it all unfolded.

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Charleston South Carolina USA…

Kagome stood in front of her full length mirror frowning over the mound that was now her belly. She was eight months along and felt like a great behemoth of a whale. The stupid shirt her husband had purchased and insisted she wear did nothing to help matters. It was a white t-shirt with a blue arrow pointing to her enormous belly with the blue words _Baby on Board_ embroidered across it.

Inuyasha picked blue because he was certain it was a boy. Kagome had already been told by the doctor while the first ultrasound was iffy but she thought it was girl. However Inuyasha was offended by the modern technology of baby sexing and declined to be told. So Kagome stopped asking about the gender but knew it was a girl.

Ironically he did love the ultra sound photos, the ones where the baby's legs were crossed, and had wallet sized pictures he carried everywhere. Just last week Kagome had to rescue the pizza man from a plethora of baby fetal photos.

No matter how crazy he drove her, Kagome still loved her Inuyasha more than air itself. The fact he'd given up all his power and strength to be human so he could be mortal with her was a gift she'd never forget. The weight of that never left her thoughts even though they'd been married three years. The second greatest joy of her life was the moment his hand was on her belly and he felt his daughter kick for the first time.

The same man she'd seen almost die countless times without so much as a blink of his eye, the man who sliced off the left arm/leg of his great youaki brother than egged the same brother five hundred years later on national TV…cried for joy at the movement of his child. The word profound did not even began to describe how she felt.

However today she felt more like bloated beached whale than anything else. Kiki the golden retriever sat at her feet watching Kagome examine herself in the mirror. She spared the dog a quick glance. "God girl, be thankful I had the presence of mind to get you fixed. You'll never know _this_ hell."

Kiki whined her agreement then, and it may have been Kagome's over active pregnant imagination, but for a moment she looked sad.

Kagome sighed and once more caught herself staring at the tiny photo of her mother on the dresser. She missed her so much and the pregnancy only made it worse. She had no family in the States and even in Japan it was only Souta and her mother left. No cousins or sisters or aunts or uncles. This was it.

Poor Inuyasha was even worse off than she was. He only had the haughty, blood thirsty half brother Sesshomaru. But was Sesshomaru really as bad as he made himself out to be? After all he did have that little girl all those years ago. And as much as he threatened and postured, he'd yet to kill Inuyasha or even give it a serious try for that matter.

Kagome's heart had been turning towards Sesshomaru for quite awhile. She'd yet to admit this blasphemy to her husband but she had reason to think a bit better of her one armed brother in-law.

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Last year Kim, Kagome's assistant history professor at The University of Charleston, and Kagome went on sabbatical to the Smithsonian. The trip was only three weeks long and she was able to convince Inuyasha to only visit on weekends so she was able to get some work done.

Four times in those short twenty one days she encountered Sesshomaru. The first meeting was unexpected and awkward. She was carrying a large box through the back door of the hotel when a sharply dressed man in white held the door for her. When she sat the package down and turned to thank him she was shocked to see Sesshomaru standing over her gazing down. All she was capable of muttering was a simple, "thanks."

The great and terrible Taiyokai gave a short nod than shallow bow and was gone. Kagome wasn't sure what to make of it but decided against telling Inuyasha as she didn't want to ruin the up coming weekend discussing nothing but Sesshomaru.

A week later she was alone in the breakfast bar of the hotel when a fellow guest sat beside her. He was thoroughly absorbed in his Wall Street Journal and she in her copy of The Da Vinci Code. When she left, he dropped his paper and she found herself gazing into the golden eyed face, complete with pointy ears of Sesshomaru. He nodded, she returned the gesture and left.

The third meeting was an elevator ride and he actually spoke to her.

"How do you find Washington?" His voice was cool running water.

Kagome was unnerved by his unexpected small talk. "It's lovely."

He added, "You should go to the American Art exhibit at the Smithsonian. They have a series of original Norman Rockwells. In person it's easy to see he was as talented as the Renaissance masters."

A kind suggestion from Sesshomaru? She was puzzled but saw no reason to be rude. "I will, thank you."

The next day during her lunch break Kagome visited the art gallery and discovered Sesshomaru wasn't exaggerating. The Saturday Evening Post covers hadn't done Rockwell justice.

On her last day in town Kagome was standing in line at the fascist deli shop when she spotted Sesshomaru briskly walking past. Actually, the deli owner probably wasn't an extreme dictator in disguise, he just behaved like one. So when Sesshomaru stopped by her elbow and asked her to join him for lunch at the tiny French Bistro across the street, it almost seemed silly to say no.

The lunch was short, an hour at most. All they talked about was history and art. Kagome wanted to ask why he was being nice to her and almost managed to get the words out but one cool, golden look and the words dissolved on her tongue. Finally she asked. "Why?"

Sesshomaru shrugged, "You're interesting and there's a connection there I have with no one else."

She raised a dark brow, "Because we've fought so much?"

He laughed, "That and as much as some people would not have it so we are a clan and the last of our kind."

_What kind is that? Family or people who remember fifteenth century Japan? You can't plan reunions like that on Classmates dot com. _She was dumbstruck, was it possible he was sentimental for the Warring States Era? "What should I tell Inuyasha?" _Because I feel like I've betrayed him._

"Whatever you like, it's not as if I kidnapped you but if he shows up with more eggs, I'll break him in two." She tried hard not to smile in memory of the great egg fight.

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That was last year, now Kagome was pregnant. Ever since she realized the full implications of what it was to be completely responsible for every aspect of another living human being, her mind kept pulling back to Sesshomaru. Sure he was good looking, intelligent, wealthy and possibly evil but she wasn't attracted to him in a sexual way. No it was something else.

Power. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, there were limits to what Kagome could offer her child or what she could protect her from. The world was a dangerous place and magic, while obscure was still very real. Kagome held the Shikon no Tama somewhere deep inside her. What if she passed on aspects of this to her child? How would she defend her? Inuyasha would die trying but now he was only mortal. But Sesshomaru was the answer. He had all the power and never wanted the jewel. Kagome had Inuyasha's love but now she wanted Sesshomaru's protection. There had to be a way she could have both. A Taiyokai uncle would be a huge asset to their growing family. And with Souta and her mother so far away Sesshomaru was the only family they had.

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The next morning Kagome was sipping her morning cup of green tea over the Charleston Post and Carrier when she noticed an ad for a new restaurant.

_Presenting the Charleston Branch of Sesshou: A Harmonious Marriage of French & Japanese Cuisine. Opening night, reservations only. Sesshomaru-sama will be on hand for the grand ribbon cutting._

Kagome's breath stopped. Surely this was a sign. What could she do? She pushed her self up from the table and waddled over to her purse where she pulled out a thin elegant card she'd kept since last year.

She picked up the phone and dialed.

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Notes:

This is a holiday story. Many of us are privileged to spend time with our 'lovely' families this holiday season so I got to thinking… what that would be like if your family was Inuyasha and Sesshomaru. So this is my Christmas/Hanukah gift to you! This one is a shortie no more than ten chapters and a Christmas baby in the end. ENJOY!


	2. Sanity Has Left the Building

_Chapter Two: Sanity Has Left the Building

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Sesshomaru stood watching the half wit deliveryman carelessly wheel a half million dollar chandelier over the uneven sidewalk. A nerve in his jaw popped and he ground his teeth contemplating pulling off the boy's head than bouncing it against the nearest lamppost.

The wind picked up and an errant gust blew the tops of the palmetto trees. Sesshomaru pulled out his Blackberry and made a quick note to have the palm trees decked out in white lights. His advisors had insisted Charleston was the new bastion of culture and Gods they'd better be right. He was going all out on the latest addition of his restaurant; this one was to christened _Sesshou: Magnolia._

The restaurant business and his producer-ship at Food Network served two purposes. They helped him multiply his already extensive fortune and control his temper. As a celebrity it was much more difficult to pop the heads of mortals who frustrated him, when even his latest speeding ticket was worthy of coverage by Entertainment Weekly, the Tonight Show and National Inquirer.

Sesshomaru fell into step beside the delivery boy who in fact was actually at least twenty eight. He growled low, "Boy! If you break that Chantilly crystal chandelier I promise there will be hell to pay."

The guy shot him a fast sideway glance and gave a one handed salute, "Um, sure Sir, don't worry. I got it all under control." He hit a large crack in the sidewalk and a soft musical tinkle sounded from within the crate on his dolly. Not broken but it had been close.

Sesshomaru flexed his remaining right hand and his knuckles cracked as soft green sparks emitted from his fingertips. The deliveryman pointed, "Man, are you all right? I think your hand's on fire or something."

Just than his personal cel buzzed in his jacket pocket, he snatched up the phone._ Stupid mortal…saved by the bell._

"Yes?" He answered in a fast clip. He was shocked by the soft feminine voice that answered in Japanese. He flipped the phone quickly checking the caller id.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" It was his insipid half brother's woman. Actually she wasn't so bad; t'was a shame the same couldn't be said for the filthy half-breed.

"I wanted to invite you to Christmas Eve dinner." His clever pointed ears told him she was pacing her kitchen as she spoke.

He frowned. "And why should I care for a such mortal and Christian tradition?"

Kagome's voice was fast and breathless, "You are…the closest thing to a relative any of us has on this side of the globe…I thought it'd be a good idea if we…tried to get along."

He cut straight to the point, "The spawn doesn't know about this does he?"

"Spawn? Oh Inuyasha! …not so much but he'll get used to it I'm sure."

Sesshomaru surprised her and himself by throwing his head back in laughter. "Ah to possess such self assurance combined with wicked feminine wiles."

"Perhaps..." Kagome wasn't really sure how to answer that.

"As I recall the last time we were in the same room it nearly resulted in a law suit and a criminal record. I am sure you have a charming home, why sacrifice it to something as insane as this?" He waited for her to confess the true intention behind the phone call.

She admitted, "I'm pregnant. I want my baby to have your protection. As I understand in feudal times this was not an uncommon tradition."

This was unexpected. "It is within your rights to do such a thing but it does acknowledge me as your superior." He waited to see what she thought about that statement.

"I'm your half brother's wife. He's your only brother."

Sesshomaru cut her off, "We've no proof he's Father's only bastard." But he knew he was.

"He is. So you are as good as full brothers and that affords me your protection were I ever to need it."

Sesshomaru studied a well manicured talon. The delivery man took advantage of his distraction and made a break for it. "So you wish me to attend this dinner and swear protection over the latest mixed embarrassment to my formerly honorable bloodline."

Kagome decided this was the best answer she'd get so she went along with it. "Yes."

"What time?"

"Six pm on December twenty fourth and that's a Saturday." She was looking the Golden Retriever calendar Inuyasha had purchased from the bookstore.

"I'll be there." _If only for the entertainment value alone._

"Please….refrain from trying to kill my husband. It'd mean a lot to me if you two didn't burn the house down."

Sesshomaru shrugged. She was inviting him so whatever happened wouldn't be his fault. " "As long your _husband_ is polite I will be as well."

* * *

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Kagome clicked the end button and sat the phone on its base. Now all she had to do was accomplish the impossible and tell Inuyasha.

She heard the front door open and the sound of Kiki's claws as she danced around Inuyasha on the wood floor of the foyer. The dog followed him into the kitchen. He had his arms full of Piggly Wiggly bags that he promptly sat on the counters.

Inuyasha took Kagome in his arms and kissed her. "One for you." Then he bent down, pulled up her shirt and kissed her bared belly. "And one for you."

The gesture was so sweet Kagome's guilt began to eat her alive. She picked up a bag and began putting cans of green beans into the pantry. Inuyasha was beside her in a second, taking the bag from her. "Don't do that. Go sit down or something. I've got this."

He all but pushed her into the chair and even retrieved a cushion from the living room for her back. Kiki sat at her feet looking up at her with solemn eyes._ Damn it, the dog knows! How is that even possible?_

Kiki whined softly and continued her accusing stare. Kagome waved her away hissing, "I'll tell him soon I swear!"

Inuyasha waltzed by balancing three twelve packs of diet coke. "Tell me what?" He sat the cartons in the pantry and winked at Kiki as he stepped over her to pick up the last bag.

Kagome crossed her arms over her belly resenting the uncanny bond the dog and her ex-dog yokai husband had established behind her back. She dropped her eyes to the floor. "Oh it's nothing really."

Inuyasha filled the tea kettle with cold water and sat it on the stove. "What's nothing?"

Kagome pushed her hair back from her bloated pregnant face and wondered if she should take the advice from the women in her Lamaze class and cut it all off. "We're having a guest over for dinner on Christmas Eve."

"Oh?" His tone was bored and she knew he was on the verge of tuning her out. "Kim's gonna be in town for Christmas? Doesn't she usually go someplace hot?"

Kagome bit her lip. "It's not Kim."

Inuyasha was measuring out loose green tea into her best jade colored tea pot. "Who then?"

"A relative."

He turned to face her with a big grin. "Souta's coming! I miss the squirt." Inuyasha frowned, "Though I supposed Dr. Souta is probably much taller than the kid I remember."

"Not Souta." Kagome was rethinking her plan.

"Then who Kagome?"

Kiki dropped her head to the floor and waited for the other shoe to drop. Inuyasha tripped over her and stumbled before regaining his balance. He bit back a curse as he'd been trying to cut back on his bad language before the baby came.

Kagome took a deep breath. "Sesshomaru."

His eyes widened and then he laughed, "Very funny. Good one Kagome. All those hormones have warped your sense of humor." The tea kettle whistled with it's boil and he picked it up and filled the teapot.

Her voice was so soft his now mortal ears almost missed what she said, "I wasn't kidding."

Inuyasha's head came up and she saw his eyes burning with a deep livid anger. "What the fuck are you trying to do? Kill us all?"

Kagome wiggled uncomfortably in her chair. "I just want someone who can take care of the baby if something happens to us."

Inuyasha put his hand to her face checking for a fever. _She has to be sick! That's the only explanation for this. _"We have Kim for that and it would only be until your mother got here. Why would you want that bastard to take the baby?" He tugged at his own long dark hair declaring, "Look what he did to me?"

Kagome answered carefully, "It was your choice to be mortal, and he only sealed you inside the Tetsusaiga." Inuyasha nodded because she was right and no matter how mad he was, he never wanted her to think he regretted his decision. Because until this moment he never had.

She continued and her tone got higher as she spoke, "Anyway the baby is half Shikon no Tama miko and hanyou what if it has powers? Or people after it, things too big for us to stop."

Inuyasha saw though his haze of anger that these were things she'd been seriously worried about. He puffed up his chest. "Ain't nothing too big for me!" How could she forget that?

He narrowed his eyes and added, "If anyone would go after such a child then it would be Sesshomaru. 'Sides I'm fully mortal and I think the kid will be to. There is nothing for you to worry about. We don't need to petition him for protection."

Kagome burst into spontaneous tears; this had become a frequent occurrence as of late so Inuyasha was expecting it. "I'm so sorry. I just wanted what was best for us. He's the only family you have! We should try to fix things."

Inuyasha watched the fat tears roll down her shiny face and realized he was way out of his league. He decided to take some time out and see if she'd just get over it. "I dunno, let me think on it!" Then he pocketed the phone and fled the kitchen for the only place he ever got any peace. His beloved roof.

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Inuyasha sat on the roof watching his neighbors hang Christmas lights. Kagome wanted her own lights and he'd yet to get around to it. At first the neighborhood was concerned that he liked to sit on his roof but now they were used to him and he was just another one of the beloved odd characters Charleston was famous for.

Inuyasha didn't have much if any experience with pregnant women. First of all a woman carrying a child that was wanted back in the Warring States era was kept close to home and carefully watched. Babies often died so many people didn't pay them any attention until they could walk. In fact some were so superstitious they would call the baby something vulgar or common, like rock or turd. It wasn't until it was the child was over a year old and thriving that he was given his actual name. A proud or beautiful name was seen by some as a challenge to the Gods to take a weak infant. Thank the Gods; Inuyasha's mother was above such stupidity, though with the names Koga and Sesshomaru had adopted for him, it wasn't immediately apparent.

Second of all, unless you were very familiar with a woman it was difficult to tell under all the robes they wore if she was pregnant. Inuyasha's own mother Izayoi wore such elaborate robes she could've had another person under there and he wouldn't have known it until she hugged him.

Inuyasha racked his brain for someone he could call who was a normal person who would understand the pregnant insanity that reigned in his household. Then he picked up the phone.

Darryl was one of the first people Kagome met from the University of Charleston and had even recommended her for the job. He was a reasonable sort as far as Inuyasha could tell and had been overly blessed with four children all daughters.

Inuyasha got straight to the point once Darryl recovered from his surprise over the call. Usually Kagome did all the calling. No one even realized Inuyasha knew how to work a phone. "Hey Inu, where are you calling from? I could've sworn I just heard a plane passing overhead?"

Inuyasha took a deep breath and jumped in, "Kagome's lost her mind. I have this…half brother. He's a real ass. But she wants to have him over for …"

_What was the name of that stupid new holiday? Oh yeah…._

"Christmas Eve dinner! She thinks we can call a truce and be friends. But she doesn't know him, I thought she did but obviously she doesn't. What the hell am I gonna do? This is some baby thing…right?" He tapped his nails on the shingle beside him.

Darryl laughed, "Sure is. She's nesting."

"What the fuck…err I mean hell… is nesting?" Inuyasha slumped against the roof incline balancing the phone between his head and shoulder. Life was so much easier when most of his problems could be solved by the beating and hacking of things with his Tetsusaiga.

Darryl explained, "This is her first child, she's new to the hormones and she wants every thing to be perfect."

Inuyasha thought back to when he'd found her ironing the baby clothes she'd purchased. Yeah that sounded right. "Nesting huh? Well, what can I do to stop this? I don't want this man anywhere near her."

"Why, is he the devil?" Darryl was closer than he knew.

Inuyasha almost had to put the phone down to think on this. "He'd like to be." That was an adept description.

Darryl's voice broke up and Inuyasha had scoot down the roof for a stronger signal. "Look man, let me be straight with ya Inu, She's pregnant and emotional. There isn't anything you can do except go along with it or else she'll be pissed at you the rest of the pregnancy."

Inuyasha was crestfallen; he hated it when Kagome was mad, especially at him. What would he do if she refused to let him touch her belly? These stakes were higher than he liked. "Really?"

"Yeah but after the baby's born someday she'll see reason, apologize and you two can laugh about it."

_That_ idea was appealing. He still loved it when Kagome was wrong. It didn't happen often but oh boy when it did. "How long does that take?"

Darryl paused then admitted in open honesty. "Ten years or so."

Inuyasha lost his composure and forgot who he speaking to. "Baka! I don't have that long. There's gotta be a way for the wench to see damned reason, she's trying to fucking kill me!"

Darryl ignored the breakdown. "Yeah it feels that way now but just wait until she gives birth. Make sure there is nothing she can throw at you with in reach of the bed. Last time my wife lobbed a vase at me."

"Gods no! Really?" He was breaking out in a cold sweat. His day was going from bad to worse. First Kagome had gone crazy and he knew there wasn't a chance in hell of make up sex even if she admitted she was wrong. Now he was also in danger of bodily damage, and even though it wasn't as if he couldn't handle a mere woman; if she quit speaking to him, he'd die.

Darryl was quick to add, "Well she was really sorry later but women know this is the one time in life they have a get out of jail free card and we have to honor it. I mean do _you_ want to give birth to the kids?"

Inuyasha considered this impossible task and felt decidedly queasy. "Fuck no!"

He'd seen the video at the Lamaze classes Kagome insisted on dragging him to. He was never so humiliated in his whole life when the naked woman appeared on the TV screen. After he got over the shock of all the nudity he was terrified for Kagome. He'd seen animals give birth but in the Warring States time men were forbidden from the birthing room. Now he knew why and quite frankly he thought it was a good idea. Sadly Kagome disagreed with this.

Darryl laughed, "Ahmen brother. Hey I'm on my way out to Coconut Joe's for a beer, why don't you meet me there?"

As a rule Inuyasha avoided alcohol. He hated feeling out of control. After battling his yokai side and turning human on the night of the new moon, he preferred sobriety. Today though the need for male companionship out weighed his normal principals and he agreed. Also a good stiff drink might help.

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Notes:

This chapter is dedicated to Charlie who knows more about childbirth and babies than any man should. Congrats on the new baby.

BTW: Of course I don't own Inuyasha.


	3. Embracing the Insanity

_Chapter Three: Embracing the Insanity _

Sesshomaru stood in the opening of the narrow alley beside the newest addition to his chain of restaurants. He was waiting to be sure his latest shipment would arrive in tact.

Some would consider it petty for an executive to trouble himself with a simple delivery, but Sesshomaru prided himself on his attention to detail and penchant for justice. Everything minuscule thing in this world mattered, for it was the tiny details that made up the bigger picture. Quality was above all in importance and also his obsession with perfection allowed him an easy way to vent some steam. Unlike his silly halfwit brother he'd mastered self control and turned it into an art form.

There were many other reasons Sesshomaru found Inuyasha to be lacking in any or all redeemable qualities. The boy had no manners, common sense, and for many years his personal grooming habits were atrocious. Of course now he bathed regularly, not that Sesshomaru had gotten close enough to catch a whiff. But he assumed Kagome wouldn't bed down with him otherwise.

As much as it disgusted him to admit it the Taiyokai was intrigued by the notion of a niece or nephew, even one soiled with the taint of human blood. In a way Kagome had saved him the trouble of making contact with her. He had a duty to the child that was passed down to him by his own father, Inutaisho. The fealty of protection was a sacred rite and as the only living child of the Inu family it was the babe's due.

A healthy trust fund was also called for. Sesshomaru harbored no affection towards the child but he knew what had to be done. He was above faltering in his family duty. Unlike Inuyasha he prided himself on not being ruled by his emotions. As far as he was concerned his half brother was more emotional than most women.

Even Kagura had a stiffer upper lip than the embarrassment that shared half his blood line and she'd had the audacity to question his manhood.

Kagura. Now there was an interesting memory. What it must have taken for her to ask for his help he'd never know and perhaps a lesser man would claim feelings of regret. Sesshomaru growled low to himself just as he spotted the same delivery man this time unloading cartons of champagne flutes. The glasses were only a fraction of the value of the chandelier but then it was the point not the cost.

Sesshomaru stepped silently behind the deliveryman and dropped a heavy hand on his shoulder. The man panicked and the carton fell from his arms crashing to the pavement. The sound of shattering crystal filled the tiny alley way. Sesshomaru cocked his head as he licked his upper canines. The man's arms trembled.

"Dude, it was an accident. You're insured out the ass for Christ sakes." He spoke slowly as he raised his hands to the sky in the universal sign of defeat and submission.

Sesshomaru lifted his hand and his talons grew. The man's face paled and soon the air was filled with a rank odor. Sesshomaru briefly closed his eyes upon the realization the man had lost bladder control. He shook his head and dropped his hand. "You are relieved of your duties here. Do not return."

As much as tearing a strip of flesh off the imbecile would have satisfied Sesshomaru's temper there was no honor in confronting a man who peed like a beaten dog upon confrontation.

The man turned and fled, his wet pant leg molded to his thigh as the dark wet spot continued to grow.

Sesshomaru shook his head. How had such an embarrassment of a species managed to populate and run the world was beyond him.

* * *

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Inuyasha sat beside Darryl on the bar stool sipping a tall pint of Killian's Red. The beer was good but the inside of his head was fuzzy. He gave into the sensation instead of fighting it. It was a welcome distraction from his concerns over the up coming 'family' dinner.

Darryl was thrilled that Inuyasha had come out to meet him. The man was a quiet loner; the only person he ever talked to was Kagome. She insisted her strange husband wasn't antisocial just shy. After three beers he decided Inuyasha wasn't such a bad guy once you got to know him. Though to be fair it could have been the beer talking. Darryl had yet to find out what everyone had been dying to know though, what did the guy do for a living? So far the only thing he'd gotten out of him was the mumbled word consultant. When asked what kind of consulting he did, Inuyasha dismissed him with a wave of his hand and answered, "The kind where you consult."

One thing was certain. He knew nothing about women or babies. Darryl felt immense pity for the poor guy. If the baby was a girl as Kagome claimed, she'd have her dad wrapped around her finger. A boy and well who knows what kind of strange old world Japanese machismo things Inuyasha had planned for a son. But the idea of him changing a diaper or getting spat up on was priceless. He just didn't seem the car seat, stroller and diaper bag type.

However this afternoon Inuyasha wasn't seeking advice on car seats, though he really should have because six months later he will receive a traffic ticket for having the baby strapped in incorrectly. No today he was stressing his impromptu family reunion.

Darryl tipped back his beer for a long sip while trying to imagine what Inuyasha's relatives must be like. "So this is your only brother then?"

Inuyasha signed and rested his chin on his knuckles as he watched Darryl drink. "Yeah, he's my half brother."

"So then…what about your folks?'

"They died…a long time ago." His tone was matter of fact.

Darryl winced, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." Shit he'd screw this up.

Inuyasha rolled a peanut across the counter. "It's okay, there's nothing I can do about it now. I never knew my father but Sesshomaru did. Sometimes I hate him for that."

Darryl raised a brow, when all else failed he resorted to humor, which always went well with the beer. "It's like Oscar Wilde said; to lose one parent is a misfortune but to lose both looks like carelessness."

Inuyasha frowned, "This Wilde guy has a strange idea of what's funny. But if anyone lost the old man it was Sesshomaru. He let him go into battle alone. Together they would have pulled through. But then he never should have fought at all, he was wounded. Sesshomaru could have stopped him…" _But then I would've died before I was even born. Is it possible that stuck up ass is the only reason I'm here to begin with?_ It was all too much and in the past. So who cares? What mattered now was the dinner that was less than a week away.

Darryl asked, "What war was that?"

Inuyasha looked up with an odd expression. "No war you'd know about more like a petty dispute between territories." _Yokai and humans… _There never was a happy medium between them.

"How old _is_ your brother?" Darryl was just making conversation while they waited on a fresh bowl of pretzels.

Inuyasha scoffed, "Feh, to hell if I know." Then added, "He doesn't talk to me much."

"Wow that is some family you have there. Where did you say you were from again?" Darryl cut him a sideways glance.

"Rural Japan, middle of fucking nowhere." Now _that_ answer wasn't a complete lie.

Daryl laughed, "So is that one on a map?"

Inuyasha crushed the peanut between his thumb and forefinger and muttered, "Not one I've ever seen."

* * *

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Kagome pulled up into a parking spot right in front of the Piggly Wiggly; stork parking, just another one of the many benefits of being the size of a whale and unable to bend over. She pulled herself out of the Jeep and then promptly dropped her keys. They skidded under the Jeep and were at least three feet out of her reach.

_Damnation_. She didn't have a chance in hell of bending down far enough to reach those keys. Kagome took a deep breath and fished out the umbrella from the passenger seat of the Jeep.

_Okay here goes nothing._ She squatted as best she could and swept the umbrella beneath the under carriage of the Jeep trying to catch the keys on the hook of the umbrella's handle.

Due to the added girth of her belly she was only able to reach out with the umbrella another twelve inches. Kagome held on to the side of the Jeep with one hand and tried to extend her reach with the umbrella. She slipped and stopped her fall by leaning on the umbrella. She heard a sickening snapping sound and saw the umbrella bend. _Oh shit, please no… I cannot fall out here._

Kagome leaned backward trying to right herself. This wasn't working towards her advantage either because now she off balance.

A bag boy spotted the over stressed pregnant woman teetering on the edge of a major spill. He rushed to her side and gave her him arm.

Kagome accepted it and praised the Gods. He made sure she was steady than dropped to his knees and easily fished the keys from under the Jeep. Kagome's face burned and she was fiercely glad there was only one month to go. She wasn't sure how much more humiliation could take. For the next baby she was going to make sure her keys were on an retractable elastic string.

She thanked him then waddled toward the door. The same kind kid pulled a shopping buggy free from the cart rail for her.

She pushed the buggy down the store aisles contemplating what one should serve their quasi evil, gourmet chef, brother in law for Christmas Eve dinner. Turkey? Did Sesshomaru eat turkey? Would he eat anything served in the home of his detested half brother? Come to think of it, had anyone ever witnessed Sesshomaru eating anything? He did eat, after all why cook if you didn't eat?

Maybe she could go nouve riche and serve lobster. But the idea of boiling anything alive turned her stomach. Kagome stood outside the lobster tank studying the red coruscation captives. Their up coming deaths were so brutal a tear formed in her eye. _Damn it! _This was just caused by her hormones. But regardless of whatever it was she knew lobster was off the menu. Kagome sighed then pulled out her cell and called Kim.

"Hiya Preggers! What's shaking? …Oh wait, you are!" Kim chortled at her horrible joke.

Kagome hissed, "Someday you will be pregnant and I will have my revenge."

"Ohhhh sounds scary. I quiver with fear. So what's up?"

Kagome asked, "What do you serve a bad tempered gourmet chef for Christmas eve dinner?"

Kim thought then said, "You are calling me from the store aren't you?"

"Maybe."

The intercom kicked on blaring "Clean up in aisle four! Clean up in aisle four!"

Kim laughed, "This is too good. Okay so this is for tomorrow right?…I'd go with lobster."

Kagome was worried, "Are you sure? I mean I'd have to kill them first."

"Yeah that is how it goes. Trust me they aren't any good alive." Kim's amusement was evident in her tone.

"I'd feel bad about it though…they don't deserve to die that way." Kagome's eyes misted over.

"I've seen you cook live crabs for Christ sakes...just do it."

She sniffled; "I dunno…"

Kim suggested brightly, "Or make Inuyasha do it."

Kagome thought this sounded like a plan. "Okay good, now what about the side dishes?"

She could hear Kim rolling her eyes. "Baked potato, salad, some steam veggies and bingo! There you are."

Kagome was skeptical, "Are you sure I shouldn't go with turkey? I mean its traditional right?"

Kim snickered, "Girl I saw that Food Network DVD, Too Wild for TV featuring that egg fight…Don't ya think the less stuff there is on the table for them to throw at each other the better? I bet they could do some wicked damage with a 15 pound turkey and a gravy boat. Really lobster and a nice salad is the way to go. And maybe you should hide the utensils and make everyone eat with their fingers. Have you considered just serving chicken nuggets? Or what about sushi? You are Japanese after all."

"I can't picture Sesshomaru in a lobster bib and Inuyasha will just throw the claw crackers at him, Sesshomaru is a sushi expert so that could be awkward…" Kagome had to move her buggy so that the other shoppers could squeeze by. Unlike her they knew what they were looking for.

"Okay so serve turkey, dressing, cranberries, whatever and go all out! Just make certain you carve the turkey in the kitchen and don't use the good china. In fact maybe you should just use paper plates and make sure all the food is already cut in into bite sized pieces so they won't need to use any knives."

Kagome shrugged, "Seems like a good an idea as any." She pulled out her notepad and began jotting down what she'd need.

Kim couldn't resist adding, "So do you think Inuyasha would sign my ten copies of Food Network's Too Wild for TV? They're gonna make awesome Christmas presents."

* * *

Notes:

The famous egg fight took place in The Hanyou Hits the Frying Pan.

* * *


	4. Counting Down

_Chapter Four: Counting Down_

Two hours and counting:

Kagome stood in the dining room surveying the seating arrangements. She decided the best option was to set Inuyasha at the head of end, herself beside him and have Sesshomaru setting on the other end. That way he'd be three seats away from Inuyasha's immediate reach and visa versa.

_Gods why did I think this was a good idea again?_ The baby's foot kicked her hard in the bladder and Kagome was reminded why she wanted to do this in the first place. Then she made a break for the nearest bathroom.

On her way back Kagome heard the unmistakable squeaking of her oven's door hinges. The hallway was filled with the aroma of roasting turkey. _That man…I can't leave him alone for a second._

Inuyasha's rear was in the air as he leaned into the oven trying to pull off a wing from the half cooked turkey. Kiki danced behind him, wagging her tail demanding he share with her, his new best friend.

"Inuyasha!"

He jumped up and tried his best to look innocent, which had never been one of his strengths. But it was too late he was busted, red handed holding a turkey wing. "I was just checking the turkey… Alton Brown says you can't trust that little pop up plastic do-hickey." The ex-hanyou who'd never laid eyes on a turkey until three years ago was now an expert and a pre-dinner snack maniac.

Kagome sighed and shook her head. "First of all that turkey didn't come with a plastic thermometer-timer and secondly you aren't allowed anywhere near that turkey, you're gonna get e-coli or something and die. Then where will you be? The great Inuyasha who defeated Naraku, dead from bad turkey what will the history books say? "

Inuyasha brazenly bit into the forbidden wing and answered with his mouth full. "It won't kill me… 'Sides this is my house too and _my_ turkey." He tried to chew with an air of authority as though he'd hunted down the bird and killed it himself.

Kagome put on hand under her belly for support and pointed out the door. "Out! Now."

Inuyasha cursed and dragged his feet as he left the kitchen. Kiki whined and looked up at Kagome, her liquid brown eyes begging to stay. "You too girl, go join your partner in crime."

She hung her head and padded out of the kitchen. Kagome checked the turkey and was grateful for Inuyasha's mortal blunt fingernails. His former hanyou self would've had the turkey in pieces in mere seconds. Then he would have shared the leftovers with the dog. Thank the Gods for small favors.

She stirred the potatoes she was boiling for mashing. Kagome checked the pumpkin pie she'd hidden on top of the fridge and was happy to find it unharmed. She knew _had_ her husband still possessed his superior sense of smell there would have been finger holes all over the pie's surface. She'd still purchased a huge container of Cool Whip in case the pie was ever in need of some cosmetic repair.

Kagome hobbled into the living room and found Inuyasha sitting crossed legged on his favorite leather recliner watching the Christmas special _Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer_ with Kiki's head in his lap. Kagome sat on the couch after rearranging the pillows so she would be able to get back up later.

Normally Inuyasha would have helped her sit down and fussed over her to the point she'd have to push him away, but he was still steaming over the upcoming dinner.

He watched her struggle with a frown. "The doc's sure you have three more weeks to go?"

Kagome nodded. Because she was in her last month she had a doctor's appointment every week to check if she was dilated. In the beginning, Inuyasha hated the idea of letting a doctor touch her but consented after meeting the older woman who lectured him on the importance of prenatal health care. Now he woke Kagome every morning just to make sure she didn't forget to take the monster sized vitamin pills, she'd been prescribed.

Kagome huffed as she leaned back on the couch cushions. "Yeah she's dropped some but I've got a bit to go."

Inuyasha scoffed. "My _son_ will come when _he_ wants, not when a doctor tells him to. And by the looks of you he could be here any minute now."

Kagome fought exasperation. "It was just an educated guess, no one can predict the exact moment but still, I should be fine." She placed hand on her belly.

He changed the topic and pointed at the TV screen where puppet reindeer frolicked with the remote. "You know if I were that Rudolph, I would've..."

Kagome finished the sentence for him, "…kicked the other reindeer's asses?"

Inuyasha grinned, "You know it."

She sighed, "You're going to be a terrible influence on this child."

He stood and hovered over her with questioning eyes. Kagome nodded and Inuyasha slid her shirt up her belly and placed his warms hands over her. The movement stirred the sleeping baby who issued a solid kick against her stomach. Inuyasha felt it and laughed. He leaned over and kissed Kagome on the lips before announcing. "That's _my_ boy!"

She pulled her shirt down as he slid onto the couch beside her and draped his arm around her shoulders. They sat in silence.

Then Inuyasha sighed and asked.  
"This stupid visit means a lot to you doesn't it?"

Kagome gave him a soulful look worthy of any lost puppy and nodded. "Yes it does, I know it's crazy but I just have this feeling…"

He bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes. His hand slid back over her belly. Kagome watched him open his eyes and fell into their dark brown depths. Lately she'd noticed they were rimmed with golden flecks, and she wondered if it was left over from his hanyou days.

Inuyasha replied. "Okay, I'll make an effort to put up with him. It's just one dinner after all. Next time you get a crazy idea like this we're meeting the creep at MacDonald's and I get to lob flaming spit balls at him."

Kagome smiled and pressed her lips to his. The timer went off signaling the potatoes were ready for mashing. Inuyasha was on his feet in seconds and heading to the kitchen. "It's cool, I got this. You just relax."

Kagome fought to push herself off the couch. "No! Don't you dare!"

He waved at her over his shoulder. "It's really no big deal."

Kagome remembered the poor mutilated bird still had one wing left intact. "Okay but leave that turkey alone!"

He was already in the kitchen, she heard the groan of the oven door hinges then he answered, his mouth sounding suspiciously full. "Woman, I'm not any where near your precious, damned turkey." Inuyasha smiled as he gnawed on the turkey wing. _Anymore that is.

* * *

_

----

Inuyasha was upstairs shaving. Kagome had never gotten used to the sight of him covered in the menthol shaving cream. For one thing he tended it get it every where, on the bathroom counter and even behind his ears. For another as a half yokai he never had to shave. Teaching him had been interesting because apparently humans had thinner skin than yokai and he'd suffered a few nasty cuts.

She gave the table another look and was pleased by her center piece, a simple Poinsettia. She was still baffled as to why Americans associated a tropical plant with Christmas, but still it was pretty. Also if Inuyasha threw it at Sesshomaru it would just make a mess. Her pewter candlestick holders that usually sat in the middle of the table had the potential to become lethal weapons.

She heard the front porch squeak and knew their guest had arrived. Kagome opened the door before the Taiyokai pressed the bell. He was dressed, as usual, in a white suit. He passed her a fancy bottle of golden champagne.

Kagome held the bottle and realize it was in fact sparkling cider, so she could drink it too. _How thoughtful of him._ "You really came?" She didn't realize until the words left her lips she never really expected to see him.

Sesshomaru tilted his head then turned down his chin and studied her bursting figure. "And you really are breeding."

_Breeding? I'm not a cow you jerk._ She pasted a fake smile on her face. "That is what I said on the phone."

Without asking her permission or a preamble of any kind he laid his one hand over her belly. The baby responded immediately by kicking. Kagome was uncomfortable having Sesshomaru's poison claws on her vulnerable belly but decided to reach out to him. She whispered, "You're going to be an uncle."

Sesshomaru frowned, "Congratulations to me." He was only here because he had to be. He owed to _her, _the one woman he'd ever sworn allegiance to, even if she was human. And if that promise and his family duty meant suffering through a trite dinner than so be it.

Kagome carefully removed his hand and stepped back into the house. "Dinner is almost ready, why don't you sit in the living room? It'll just be a few minutes."

He allowed her to lead him inside to Inuyasha's favorite room. He sat in the middle of the sofa looking constipated, as if just being inside the house was physically painful. Once seated Sesshomaru sniffed and commented, "Turkey, how American and quaint." The whole room stank of his now human, half wit relation.

"Ahh thanks," _I think?_ Answered Kagome as she passed him the TV remote. Sesshomaru dropped it on to the floor and the battery cover slipped open spilling out the AA batteries. They rolled out and under the couch.

Kiki slipped into the room to investigate the stranger. She sat her fluffy rear on the floor an assumable safe five feet from Sesshomaru and stared in awe. His scent reminded her of Inuyasha's when he'd first arrived so she stood and slowly approached him.

Sesshomaru frowned at the golden retriever and she fell to the floor on her belly whimpering. Kagome hissed at her, "Kiki, out!" Kiki was more than happy to oblige and made a break for it.

Sesshomaru leaned back into the couch and crossed his legs.

Inuyasha, who hadn't heard Sesshomaru arrive, came down the stairs singing _Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer_ in Japanese, except he replaced Grandma with Sesshomaru and added a few colorful expletives all questioning Sesshomaru's heterosexuality.

Sesshomaru ground his teeth and dug his claws into one of Kagome's pillows. She winced at the sound of shredding silk and said loudly, "Otou! Guess who's here?" She hoped calling him Daddy would remind her stubborn husband why they were doing this in the first place.

Inuyasha's foot paused on the second to last step. Kagome heard him mutter. "Fucking hell."

Some things never change.

----

* * *

Notes:

_Coming soon_ the surprising conclusion to Pavlov's Bell


	5. Dinner & Other Disasters

_Chapter Five: Dinner & Other Disasters_

Inuyasha stood in the doorway with his arms folded wearing a half sneer across his mortal lips. _The asshole really came; there he is; just sitting on MY couch._

Well, it was really Kagome's couch but why split hairs? He decided to honor his bargain with Kagome and pretended he hadn't been singing that song.

He nodded, "Sesshomaru."

The Taiyokai returned the barely civil nod and spat, "Inuyasha."

Kiki, who was lying in the kitchen doorway, whimpered.

Kagome watched the two men stare each other down and was struck by the insane thought, _I wonder if they are gonna start sniffing each others butts?_ She bit her lip to keep from laughing. The sight of her ruined silk pillow was enough to snap her back into reality.

She waited but the staring competition continued. A full sixty seconds passed with no blinking. Kagome knew Inuyasha's eyeballs had to be on the verge of cracking so she put a fast end to it. "Dinner's ready in ten minutes, why don't we adjourn to the dining room."

Sesshomaru stood and confidently strode past a huffing Inuyasha. Kagome watched him turn into the dining room and wondered how he knew which way to go. She chalked it up to his superior nose.

Inuyasha turned to follow him but Kagome stopped him by pressing her hand on his chest. He looked down on her and she saw his eyes were burning with disgust. She whispered in his un-fuzzy ear, "Please." Then she hit him full force with big sappy eyes. In a former existence she referred to this look as puppy dog eyes but Inuyasha had mastered and claimed it for his own.

His heart thawed just a bit and he groaned between clenched teeth, "Yeah I know." He took her hand and held it in both of his. "It this doesn't prove how much I love you wench, then I don't know what will."

Kagome grinned back, "I love you too." She smiled brightly.

He growled back, "You'd better." Then he dropped her hand and stalked off to the bathroom to wash his hands, vent in peace or just break something. Kagome wasn't sure which.

She straightened her maternity jumper and walked into the dining room only to find it empty.

_Damn it! Where is that man?_ But that was a stupid question. Of course he'd bypassed the dining room for the kitchen where he could disparage of her pedestrian cooking skills.

She wasn't worried he'd pick up a weapon. Sesshomaru needed none as he was naturally armed. It was Inuyasha she wanted kept away from the cutlery. Kagome was fairly certain as long as Inuyasha made no threatening moves towards Sesshomaru then everything would be awkward but relatively non violent.

She found him standing in front of the abused turkey frowning. Sesshomaru gave a long sigh, "I don't suppose this turkey came with two wings?"

Except for the two gaping holes where the wings had once been the turkey looked great. Kagome answered, "Nope, it's the latest thing, Wingless turkeys."

"I see."

He picked up a wooden spoon and began stirring Inuyasha's lumpy mashed potatoes. "I don't know why he thought he had a chance in kitchen stadium."

Kagome pulled the bowl away from him and stuck the hand mixer in it. "You know how it is." She thought back on how many times when facing a major demon the brothers had turned on each other to fight over who was going to kill the demon. It was a wonder both of them were still alive. Scratch that, as Sesshomaru appeared damn near indestructible, it was a wonder Inuyasha was still alive.

Free from the bowl of mashed potatoes, Sesshomaru hunted out the pumpkin pie and held it under his nose. "Adequate. I assume the half breed had nothing to do with this."

Kagome answered, "That would be a safe assumption." Her cranberries began popping in the pan and she stirred them then added a grating of orange zest. "So what made you decided to take up cooking, I mean it's such a drastic change."

"It was a new experience and a good source of capital for my empire. Long after I've retired my culinary investments will continue to pay off." By retire he meant get bored.

Sesshomaru gently sat the pie on the counter and stood staring at her with an intensity that made Kagome's skin itch. Finally she gave in, "What?"

He shook his head and his long hair brushed across his shoulders. She wondered if he was forced to wear a hair net when he was at his restaurants. "I can't understand how the two of you are even remotely compatible."

His words caught her off guard. "I'm not sure that's any of your concern." She bit her lip and hoped she hadn't been mistaken about his politeness. Surely it wasn't something else. If so then Inuyasha really would break loose and there would be nothing she could do to stop him, even if he were mortal.

Sesshomaru smiled grimly, "It's my concern twice over. But you did make it easier for me; two birds, one stone and such." He stuck a chopstick into the gravy and gave it a probing stir.

Kagome was wondering what the hell he was talking about when Inuyasha appeared in the doorway. "Sesshomaru, this ain't your kitchen." _Or your pregnant wife, or pie for that matter._

Sesshomaru's head shot up and his eyes flashed, "Very well it's not and thank the Gods for that small favor." He flew through the doorway to the dining room, his movements faster than the blink of a mortal eye.

Kagome heard Inuyasha mutter under his breath, "Show off."

* * *

---

Dinner was served and for the sake of Inuyasha's pride, Kagome squelched the urge to force him to eat with a plastic spork. She considered chopsticks but they wouldn't work with the gravy, stuffing and pie. So regular silverware it was. She didn't trust Inuyasha not to go after Sesshomaru. At least when he'd been a hanyou she could judge his temper by watching his ears twitch. But still his dark human eyes burned with an unending hatred.

If this was a normal American family function all male aggression would have been worked out over a game of touch football in the front yard before dinner. But when you marry into a yokai family sports were considered silly and the only satisfying end to a fight was one where someone was seriously maimed; the more blood the better.

For now they sat at the table watching Inuyasha butcher the poor turkey further with an electronic carving knife. He preferred the butcher's knife but under the circumstances knew better than use it.

Kagome had out her best gold linen table cloth and against her best judgment, the bone china.

Inuyasha turned off the electric knife and began transferring uneven slices of turkey to the platter. "So Sesshomaru, how's tricks?"

_Damn that HBO channel and it's influence on his vocabulary!_ Kagome's heart stopped in her chest and she watched the Taiyokai break into a small smile. "Ever since Food Network put out a restraining order on you, things have been great."

Inuyasha muttered, "Yeah well that's _their _loss." He stabbed his turkey slice with his fork and growled softly as he pushed it around his plate. He sat down and kept a close eye on his Taiyokai brother.

Sesshomaru nodded, "Perhaps, those DVDs have sold very well. If you weren't so unpredictable you'd have your own show by now."

Inuyasha's face lit up but he was suspicious. "Really?"

Kagome's head was filled with visions of a show called _Mortal Combat with common Kitchen Utensils. _The first show's theme would be death by electric egg beaters. Sheput her hand under the table and squeezed Inuyasha's knee. "He's not serious."

"Fucker." But he found her hand and squeezed it back.

She turned to face Sesshomaru who was twirling his butter knife through the still lumpy mashed potatoes. "So what do you think of Charleston?"

He lifted a brow, "It's smaller than New York. Honestly it's always entertaining to see what Americans consider old. Four hundred years to them is ancient and Ah Um is nearly twice that."

Kagome hadn't thought of the two headed lizard in years, "Where is he now?" What does one do with a giant lizard these days?

Sesshomaru surprised her by sampling a bite of turkey. "In Japan right now, though I did have him housed in Scotland by a lake for a decade or two. You can't imagine the people who kept trying to take his picture and sell it for profit. Damned tabloid papers."

"He likes to swim?" She couldn't imagine it.

"Sometimes, all and all he's loyal and always comes back but he does get out on occasion."

Kagome pondered this then asked, "What ever became of that adorable little girl who followed you?" She'd often wondered how a human raised by the likes of Sesshomaru would turn out.

Sesshomaru sat his fork down beside his plate. "She died of old age." His tone was grave and his expression unreadable.

Inuyasha was sick of Sesshomaru's distain for the human condition. He spoke with his mouth full of turkey demanding, "Well what the hell did you expect?"

Kagome tried to soften her husband's harsh words by asking, "Did she marry and have a family?"

Sesshomaru stood and popped open the sparkling cider. He poured himself a glass than sat the bottle in the center of the table without offering anyone else any. "Yes, I've been keeping tabs on them for centuries. That girl's blood holds an attraction for the Inu family that cannot be explained."

He looked pointedly and somewhat with disgust at Inu who dropped his fork and exclaimed, "What?"

Kagome was intrigued and just a bit concerned, "How kind of you. So who are her family? Anyone we know?" This was going somewhere, she just wasn't sure she was ready to admit to herself where.

Sesshomaru narrowed his bright golden eyes at his half brother than answered her question. "They are the keepers of the sacred. Your Kaede-baba built a large shrine and when the Samurai came I left Rin with her for safety. Now that a certain hot blooded half breed was out of the picture I felt the role of priestess would be safe and boring. But I was wrong. She grew up and met an annoying young man and they were wed." The thunk of his fork as he dropped it on the table emphasized his feelings on Rin's choice of mortal husband.

Kagome wasn't able to imagine Sesshomaru giving away the bride but he must have allowed it. "So she lived in the shrine my family keeps now! Imagine that, all this time we were so close to so much." She felt the baby move and was suddenly homesick. It'd been far too long since she'd been home even for a short visit.

Inuyasha growled and pushed his plate aside waiting for the inevitable.

Sesshomaru frowned. Stupid mortal she still didn't get it, "Why do you think your family still has the shrine? It's protected."

Inuyasha warned, "Don't even go there!" If this was true did he want his wife to know what her family owed his? Sesshomaru was twisted and untrustworthy. Not one selfish, good deed could change that.

Sesshomaru slipped into a cruel smile, "Why are you surprised? We are brothers after all even if it's only half blood. It was amusing to see we've the same faults. Though for me it's more of an idiosyncrasy than a weakness." It had only taken him four hundred years before he was able to admit his feelings for the fragile mortal girl.

Kagome sat in her chair with her fork in one hand hovering over her plate. She wasn't sure what to think. The shrine had been declared a historical landmark years ago so it was safe from developers. Whenever funds were short the bank always granted the loan her family needed to keep it in working order and never complained when the payment was late. Here her phone company sent a cancellation threat if the payment wasn't received five days before it was due.

And then there was school. She'd missed so much of it during her junior high years and was still accepted into high school. At the time it was a miracle.

Inuyasha pushed his chair back and stood, "But back at the old man's tomb… you tried to kill her!"

Sesshomaru shrugged, "I didn't know then, I hadn't met the child. But now it has come full circle."

The words 'we've the same faults' resonated in Inuyasha's head and left him with a dark thought, "Did you ever… with that kid?"

Sesshomaru's eyes rimmed with red and his face paled as he roared, "Filthy mortal man, how can you ask me that?" He tossed his linen napkin from his lap to the table.

Kagome took a deep breath and found her voice. "You've protected our shrine because…"

Inuyasha cut her off and managed to toss in a word from his word of the day calendar Kagome got him for Christmas, "Don't listen to him, that pompous ass; he'd say anything to hurt us."

Sesshomaru stood and touched Kagome's hair with the fingertips of his remaining hand. His eyes glowed and hot bile rose in Inuyasha's throat at the sight. "Blasphemy, I would never allow any harm to come to this one."

Inuyasha was around the table and in Sesshomaru's face in mere seconds. "She's not yours to protect."

He grabbed the electronic carving knife. "If you value your remaining arm, than you will take your hand off her now!"

Sesshomaru's lips thinned. "I gave my word to watch over _her _offspring. Do you think you are the only one capable of making stupid promises?"

Inuyasha hated being reminded of how he was forced to dispatch Kikyo and this only served to further his building rage. "You've never cared about anyone but yourself." Even after his words he was forced to remember how much Rin had resembled Kagome. He dismissed the memory; after all it was hard to believe Sesshomaru possessed a soul.

He pressed the green ON button and the knife began to buzz. Sesshomaru looked at the shaking electric blade with amusement. "As if you've ever stood a chance against me."

Inuyasha clenched his teeth, "As if I care."

Kagome's stomach churned and she dropped her head face first onto the table top. If the father of her unborn child was going to die she didn't want to go into premature labor by witnessing it.

* * *

---

Notes:

Got my computer back and it's working again!

The spork is a plastic utensil that is the combination of a spoon and fork. Basically it's a spoon with very short and dull fork prongs on the end. It's flimsy, useless and can be found at Taco Bells everywhere.

Isabel's Christmas card is still up on my site and profile for those who wish to see it.


	6. Turkey the Other White Meat

_Chapter Six _

_Turkey the Other White Meat_

Inuyasha advanced on Sesshomaru growling low under his breath. Sesshomaru stood behind Kagome looking bored. "Stupid mortal, is this the best you can do?"

The knife buzzed as Inuyasha lifted his arm and charged his taiyokai brother. Sesshomaru sidestepped the attack but Inuyasha anticipated this and spun on the balls of his feet to face him.

Sesshomaru shoved Inuyasha and sent him flying out of the dining room into the foyer. Inuyasha's bare feet skated across the freshly waxed wood floor and he just missed slamming into the front door.

He leapt back on his feet then dived at Sesshomaru who made a grab for the knife and succeeded in snatching it from his hands. Sesshomaru tossed it aside and it flew to the floor where it shook making a loud clunking noise against Kagome's precious hardwood floor. Sesshomaru kicked it and once its cord was yanked free of the outlet the knife fell silent.

Sesshomaru spat, "Half wit!" Then he snatched Inuyasha up by his dark hair and slowly lifted him off his feet.

Kagome lifted her head in time to see Inuyasha reaching for the turkey platter sitting on the table within his arms reach. '_Oh shit, I should've listened to Kim and gone with chicken nuggets', _was her only thought before she dropped her cheek back down to the cool wood of the table. Her heart burn was intense and she wondered what on earth she had eaten this morning that hated her so much.

Inuyasha hurled the whole ten pound turkey at Sesshomaru. It missed but whizzed by his head spewing a barrage of turkey juices on the Taiyokai. It couldn't have flown better on it's own even it still possessed both wings. Brown globs of thick turkey fat slid down Sesshomaru's long, perfect silver hair. Bits of stuffing stuck to his once pristine white suit.

Kagome closed her eyes, the ruckus was loud and confusing but there was no mistaking the sickening sound of a solid turkey carcass slamming against the dining room wall.

Kiki hovered in the doorway desperately trying to find a safe path between the crashing bodies to the precious poultry. After all it was the house rule, whatever hit the floor was hers and the turkey and all its glorious pieces were now strewn across her territory. With luck that luscious pumpkin pie would soon follow.

Sesshomaru saw the grease stains on his jacket, cursed Inuyasha's illegitimate birth, and then dropped him to attend to his white suit coat that was beyond any hope of salvaging. Inuyasha laughed as he landed on his feet, then backed up, promptly tripped over Kiki and fell hard on his ass. The force from his fall shook the dinning room and the china plates rattled in their hutch.

Kiki, outraged by the guest's attack on her beloved owner, stood in the door barking.

Sesshomaru cut her a cold glare and growled back. She fell to her belly and crawled back into the kitchen. Her turkey could wait.

The pressure in Kagome's belly worsened. '_Oh Gods, why the hell did I ever decide to do this? I am the stupidest woman alive.'_ She was working on a first rate ulcer at this rate.

Inuyasha's hand found a chair leg and he was pulling it towards him with the intent of lobbing it across the room when he noticed Kagome was quiet.

'_Why isn't she bitching at us? She should've been screaming bloody hell by now.'_

He looked up and saw she was still in her seat behind Sesshomaru with her head down on the table. Suddenly for the first time in his long existence something was more important than showing up his asshole half brother. He stood and walked to her side. "Kagome are you all right?"

Kagome lifted her head and her face was flushed. "I'm okay, I'm just tired and my stomach hurts."

Inuyasha bit his bottom lip and put a tentative hand on her belly. "Is it?"

She took a deep breath, "No, I'm just tired and my back aches."

Sesshomaru clicked his tongue against his teeth, "Stupid half breed. You're going to be the death of her."

"Fuck you." Inuyasha knelt down beside Kagome and spoke in a softer tone. "Let's get you to the couch."

She nodded and let him help her to her feet. All and all it was humiliating to have so much trouble pushing herself out of the chair but she was grateful for the assistance.

He held her elbow as though she was an old woman and she brushed him away. "Leave off! I can still walk. I'm just pregnant not handicapped."

Sesshomaru chuckled at this but Inuyasha ignored him and followed her into the living room. He arranged the couch pillows. Kagome sat down and put her feet up. She rubbed her belly but the baby wasn't moving. '_She must be sleeping, though after all that noise I don't know how.'_

Sesshomaru entered the room with his jacket folded across his arm. "Let's get this over with while the house is still standing."

Inuyasha watched his brother with a suspicious eye and whispered in the shell of Kagome's ear, "Are you sure? Do we have to do this?"

Kagome's legs joined in with her back and her head, all aching. She grilled Inuyasha with her eyes, "Yes. And after dinner you so owe me this."

He shook his head then sat behind her on the arm of the sofa, close enough to protect Kagome but out of reach of her killer glare. "I guess we're ready."

"Finally," said Sesshomaru. He stood before them in his stained suit with a pain expression on his face. Then he took a step towards Kagome and his expression softened.

Inuyasha perched uncomfortably on the sofa arm. He wasn't as limber as he used to be but he was still ready.

Sesshomaru addressed Kagome, "As the wife and subsequent mate of the low bred peon that passes for my half blood brother, I give you and this…" his nostrils flared as though he'd detected a rank odor, "child the right to my protection. Traditionally this would mean upon the certain death of your ill chosen spouse you would wed me."

Inuyasha's fingers dug into the couch upholstery and he audibly ground his teeth. The corner of Sesshomaru's lips turned up slightly at the sight of his rage. "In this case we will over look that stipulation and replace it with a trust fund."

Kagome was shocked; she hadn't expected or wanted money. "That's nice but we don't need your money."

Sesshomaru shook his head, "It's already done. All the account lacks is the little spawn's name. I expect to be present at the naming ceremony so I can fulfill the remainder of my duties."

Kagome swallowed, "Okay…thanks?"

The Taiyokai leaned over her then turned his heads towards Inuyasha and flashed his eyes. "Don't thank me; I didn't do this for you."

She answered, "I don't care. I… we just needed this. And if I owe it to Rin then that's fine, she was a sweet little girl."

Sesshomaru was silent for a moment and she saw she'd struck a cord with him. _'Who knew he had a heart? Well Inuyasha always thought he did, course he wanted to cut it out but still…'_

Kagome's back spasmed and she winced, then her stomach growled ruining the moment. "Did you guys really have to destroy dinner?"

Inuyasha asked, "I can get you something from the fridge if you want."

She frowned and shot back, "No, I wanted a goddamned turkey dinner. But you two shot that all to hell. Who do you think is cleaning up that mess? Not me."

Inuyasha slid off the sofa arm and took a step back. Was the angry thing on the couch his Kagome? He thought back to Darryl's words and decided it was the hormones. But then they did wreck the dining room.

Pacification was the answer. "I can wash off the turkey and make you a sandwich."

Sesshomaru sighed and rolled his eyes obviously thinking, Inuyasha _would_ eat something off the floor.

As if on cue Kiki strolled past the doorway that led to the dining room with half the turkey hanging in her golden jaws. Inuyasha groaned inwardly, _'Awww fuck! I'm so screwed.'_

To his surprise she turned on Sesshomaru next and was fearless. "And does that trust fund come with an insurance policy to cover the damages incurred at future family functions?"

When he chose not to reply, Kagome looked from the Taiyokai to the former hanyou in disgust. "You two are brothers. Freaking hell, why can't the two of you just get along? Would it kill you? Do you always have to behave as though you are on the feudal Japanese version of fucking Jerry Springer?"

Inuyasha's eyes widened, '_Kagome just used the word fuck. She's possessed_!' He suddenly found himself missing Miroku and his sutras.

Sesshomaru cocked a silver brow, "I've always felt we were more WWF than Springer." Damned hanyou, he'd ruined the family honor. They might as well be wrestlers at this point, well on the lighter side at least this time they weren't on national television.

Inuyasha was speechless, since when was his half brother so laid back?

Kagome laughed heartily. "I always thought you were holding out on us. If you would've dropped the stuck up act years ago, Naraku wouldn't have stood a chance."

Inuyasha's mouth was dry in disbelief. Was this the same woman who'd nailed the Taiyokai point blank with an egg charged with sacred energy? His hand itched for his Tetsusaiga; it was useless to him at this point but still…

Sesshomaru let the comment go and said nothing.

Kagome's face was flush and she was sweating. Inuyasha wanted to get her a glass of water but wasn't comfortable leaving her alone with Sesshomaru.

She winced and tried to turn her head to see the clock on the wall behind the couch. "Inuyasha, how long has it been since you threw the turkey?"

"Fifteen minutes maybe." He wasn't sure.

Kagome realized her stomach pain was coming in spasms increasing with time and directly connected to the pain in her back. She pushed herself up from the couch. "I was wrong. It's time."

Inuyasha protested, "It can't be, you still have three weeks to go!"

She shot back, "Didn't you tell me just this morning this baby would come when _she_ wanted to? Well guess what? She's ready!"

Sesshomaru said dryly, "I noticed it hours ago. She reeks of it."

Inuyasha turned on him demanding, "Well why the fuck didn't you say anything?"

The yokai shrugged, "She's not _my _mate."

Inuyasha clenched his fists, "Damn right she's not!"

Kagome rolled her eyes and called from the couch, "Shouldn't we start packing or something? It might be a good idea to call the doctor too. Unless, of course you also want to redecorate the living room with turkey parts before we leave."

Kiki seemed to think that was a good idea but no one was asking her.

Inuyasha threw open the closet door and pulled out the suitcase Kagome put together weeks ago.He asked Kagome, "What else do I need to do?"

She winced as a stronger contraction took over then replied, "Remember we made a list and put it on the fridge."

His answer was slightly muffled because he was still in the closet, "Oh yeah."

He rushed into the kitchen and snatched the list from the fridge. The first item on the list, call Dr. Goodman.

Inuyasha pressed speed dial 6 and the phone rang. He cradled the phone between his head and shoulder and called out to Sesshomaru, "Here! Go start the Jeep." Then he gave the key ring a blind toss.

Sesshomaru looked up, caught the car keys and headed outside.

Dr. Goodman answered the phone and agreed to meet him at the hospital.

'_Okay so what's next on the list?'_

_2. Put Kiki in the backyard_

Inuyasha called, "Kiki!"

The dog came running up to him and he opened the back door and gave her fluffy golden rear a good shove out the door and slammed it behind her.

_3. Kagome's socks_

'_Damnation where did she keep her stupid slipper socks? Ahh yeah, the laundry room.' _He dug through the laundry basket and located said socks. _'Next!'_

_4. The Address book and phone numbers. _

Inuyasha couldn't locate the little black book._ 'Hey that shit's in the cell phone and that's already in her purse so scratch that.'_

_5. Kagome's tea bags. _

Inuyasha pulled out a handful of Kagome's favorite chamomile green tea bags and for lack of a better place to put them, shoved them in his jeans pocket. _'That's done. Next!'_

_6. Camera _

He found the camera and hung it around his neck where it promptly got tangled in his prayer beads.

_7. Her favorite pillow_

Inuyasha ran up the stairs two at a time and pulled the pillow from their bed. He flew down the stairs, paused to grab the suitcase and locked the front door behind him.

He tossed the carry on in the back of the Jeep and climbed in the front passenger seat. "Okay let's roll!"

Sesshomaru sat at the wheel with a deadpan expression. "Did you get everything?"

Inuyasha tapped his foot on the car floor trying to wear down his nervous energy. "Yeah, let's go."

The Taiyokai said slowly, "Are you sure?"

Inuyasha pulled out the list and began reading it aloud. "That's everything, right Kagome?" He turned to look in the back seat and found it…empty.

"OH SHIT! We forgot Kagome!"

Sesshomaru countered, "No _you_ forgot Kagome."

But Inuyasha was already running back to the house and didn't hear his words.


	7. Hanyou, the Other, Other White Meat

_Chapter Seven_

_Hanyou the Other, Other White Meat_

Check in went well…considering Inuyasha only plowed over two nurses with Kagome's wheelchair on the way to the registration desk.

The receptionist paged an orderly to wheel Kagome away while Inuyasha filled out paperwork. The insurance forms swam before his eyes and became a foreign language.

He was on the verge of just making crap up when the receptionist asked, "You alright? Need any help?"

Inuyasha had learned how to read and write Japanese at his mother's knee. Thanks to Kagome, he'd learned enough English in the past three years to fill out forms and read most books on the bestseller list.

He glared at the nurse, "No."

"Okay just let me know." She returned to her computer screen.

Sesshomaru stood behind Inuyasha. "Half wit, do you want me to fill them out for you?"

"Back off. I've got this." His pen hovered over the paper. _"Fucking paperwork! And who gives a flying rat's ass how many kids her mom had?'_

'_Grrr…' _He sighed, "These questions are pointless!"

Sesshomaru picked up a copy of the Wall Street journal from a table and stood behind Inuyasha reading. This was going to take awhile.

* * *

--- 

The hospital was a maze and it was a good half an hour before he found the maternity ward.

Kagome was sitting up in bed watching TV. Had he known this was all she was up to _then_ he would've had _her_ fill out the forms.

"Hey, I was getting worried about you." She was glad to see him.

Inuyasha sat in the chair by the bed, "So how's it going?"

"We're waiting on Dr. Goodman but it's going to be a bit, I'm not dilated enough yet."

He noticed the clear IV tube sticking out of the back of her hand and winced, "How ya feeling?"

She frowned, "I'm making it but I can think of lots of other stuff I'd rather be doing. Hey where's Sesshomaru? Don't tell me he's still here?"

Inuyasha ground his teeth, "Asshole's outside."

Kagome was surprised, "Really? What's he doing?"

"To hell if I know."

Dr. Goodman called and said she was running late because she was still at another birth across town. Kagome was a few hours away from delivering so she assured them she'd be there in time and encouraged them to relax.

Kagome bit her lip and growled, "That's easy for _her_ to say. She doesn't have a watermelon try to break out of _her _guts!"

* * *

--- 

Inuyasha realized he left the camera in the Jeep and because Sesshomaru was never one to fetch and carry he ran down to the garage to retrieve the camera.

When he returned a middle aged black woman in a white doctor's jacket stood outside Kagome's door waiting for him. He recognized her, threw back his arms and ran full tilt down the hallway.

The rubber soles of his shoes squealed on the tile floor and Inuyasha skidded to a stop in front of the doctor. "What's wrong with Kagome?"

She gazed at him over the rims of her round glasses. "Kagome's fine for now."

"Tell me!"

Dr. Goodman said without preamble, "The baby's shoulder is presented first in the birth canal. It's unusual for a baby to still be moving around this late into the pregnancy but this one is very busy."

Inuyasha wasn't able to restrain a proud grin. '_Of course the baby's active, look who his Pop is.'_

The doctor ignored him ridiculous expression and continued, "I can turn it or do a Cesarean. Kagome's very narrow and since this is her first if we do a C- section it's nearly a given any other children will also be delivered that way. There's no guarantee I can get the child to turn."

His hands clenched into fists and he glanced away, "So you're taking the kid?"

She shook her head, "I went over this with her and she wants to try for a normal delivery. It will be long and hard but probably fine. However if anything goes wrong, it'll only take a few minutes to have her prepped for surgery."

Inuyasha's heart fell, "What could go wrong?"

"There is some slight chance of hemorrhaging, also there's some concern that of the baby getting the umbilical cord wrapped around it's neck. And your wife's blood pressure will have to be carefully monitored. The biggest thing is that this will be a hard delivery. As long as we are well prepared, and we are, there is little danger to the baby if it turns and if doesn't then we go straight to surgery."

He closed his eyes and sighed. _'Gods Kagome, you always want to do things the hard way.'_

Sesshomaru's voice was soft and low behind him. "Are you going to allow this travesty? She's putting herself at needless risk."

And this was the moment Inuyasha realized in the past five hundred years Sesshomaru must've never had a wife, else he would have known the only person who wasn't _allowed _to do things in a man's own house was the man.

Inuyasha put a tight hand on the Doctor's shoulder, "Kagome, she's all I… If you think for one moment things are going wrong…"

She put a warm brown hand on his. "I've done this for twenty years and gotten many women through much worse."

He dropped his chin to his chest and his long dark hair fell forward hiding his expression. "I'm coming in there."

Dr. Goodman nodded, "Good, because she wants you. Weren't you her coaching partner?"

"Yeah…"

She smiled and gave him a hearty slap on the back, "Great! See the nurse's station around the coroner? Stop by there and they will outfit you in scrubs, a mask and a rubber band to tie all that hair back."

She turned to Sesshomaru who remained silent. "Friend or family?"

A cord in his jaw twitched but he admitted, "Family."

Dr. Goodman asked, "His or hers?"

Inuyasha had a crazy thought then said, "Hers, I've never seen him before in my life."

Sesshomaru frowned, "His."

She gave Inuyasha an odd look and shrugged as she left. "Then you are welcome to the family waiting room down the hall."

Sesshomaru turned but Inuyasha stopped him, "Do you still have the Tenseiga?"

The answer was not a comforting one. "It's at my hotel but there are metal detectors here."

"Get it." He headed towards the nurse's station. _'I may not be as strong as I was but fail me here and I'll kill you.'

* * *

_

_--_

The green scrubs were surprisingly comfortable and even with his human nose he could smell the sterile hospital environment. He paused outside Kagome's room ready to cross the threshold of a room no man in his time would have entered, knowing there was no being that ever could keep him from her side.

Kagome was sitting up in the reclining bed with her feet in the stirrups. A blanket lay over her legs and her face was pale with exhaustion. '_Wow. We're really gonna do this.'_

Hesaid, "Hey you."

She looked up and was fiercely glad to see him. "Inuyasha. You came." She felt silly for doubting him after all he was always a man of his word.

He stood beside her bed then leaned over and pushed a strand of hair off her forehead. "Of course, I'll always come for you."

She closed her eyes, "I know but…" She'd seen his face when he watched the birth video.

He said nothing but sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into his arms. A contraction hit and he felt her abdomen shake with it.  
"Gods woman what have you gotten yourself into this time?"

To his surprise, she elbowed him in his ribs. "You helped me get here; in fact after this is over I'm taking a vow of abstinence."

Her tone was serious and he didn't know quite what to make of it, "You don't mean it."

Her eyes flashed. "I fucking well do. You have no idea what this is like. You just put on some green outfit and bingo that's all you have to do!"

Inuyasha back up then remembered Darryl's advice. Luckily the only thing with in her reach was a hair brush and that wasn't too dangerous. Not that he had the right to hold anything against her, after what he'd done to the turkey.

She sat up and the hospital gown fell forward flashing her bare back giving him an idea. "You want me to rub your back? It might help."

Kagome nodded and he sat beside her massaging her back. His hands were warm and strong. "I'm sorry, I didn't really mean it."

"It's okay, I know. But we've been through worse. Hell woman it was your arrow that dealt the killing blow."

She smiled. Naraku was nothing compared to this. "I had no way of knowing that, you threw me down the well before it was over."

His hand paused but then he went to work on her lower back. Her muscles clenched under her skin and he was amazed by her strength. "I was only doing what I thought was right. I'd…die if something happened to you."

Kagome was silent but he knew she was listening. "Why are you doing this? Let the doctor take the baby. Are you worried about having a scar?" He could never love her more than he did today, did she think some stupid scar could change that?

"No, but it'll take weeks to recover and I'll have to go through it if I have any more babies; C-sections are a last resort. I know I can do this. But this girl might end up an only child."

Inuyasha shrugged, as long as she survived this day and there was hope of a normal love life in his future he could accept that; even if it was a girl.

Kagome whispered, "She's moving."

'_Yeah and that's the problem. Damned pup won't stay put.' _He watched her pull up the gown and there was the impression of a tiny foot pressing out against the skin of her belly.

Until that moment Inuyasha had secretly doubted the existence of any God who would create a world such as the one he grew up in. The sight of that tiny foot changed everything and he ceased doubting in a power greater than Shikon no Tama.

Dr. Goodman tapped on the door then pushed it open. "Let's have a look see." She sat at the foot of the bed and lifted the blanket. Kagome winced through out the process and Inuyasha continued rubbing her shoulders.

"This baby has grown a lot since I saw you last week. I think you are dilated enough for me to attempt the turn. Once the epidural is in full effect we'll get started."

She left them alone and Kagome began practicing her Lamaze panting as the pain increased. Inuyasha was antsy wishing there was something he could do. He stopped working on her back and reached for her hair brush, knowing how she loved it when he brushed her hair.

Kagome hissed at him from between clenched teeth, "Don't stop rubbing. Why the hell did I think this was EVER a good idea?"

He went back to rubbing pressing down on her spine in small circles and heard her mutter "Should've let that undead bitch have you, wonder what she would've thought of _this_?"

Inuyasha swallowed and was wise enough to keep his lips sealed.

Kagome's eyes were squelched shut as she continued her rant. "If you ever think you are touching me again you've got another thing coming. I'm gonna sit you half way to China!"

A nursing aide popped her head in the room. "Try offering her some of those ice chips. She's probably thirsty."

'_Yeah after all that yelling I would be too.'_ But he picked up the cup and began diligently slipping the cool ice disks between her lips.

Kagome whispered, "That's nice."

After a few minutes the aide advised, "That's enough, she can have more in another fifteen minutes or so." Then she left.

Kagome watched her leave and hissed to Inuyasha, "Okay she's gone, gimme some more."

"She said not to." Normally Inuyasha was never big on rules but here where Kagome's health was the priority the world was topsey turvey.

"Fuck her and gimme some more." was his wife's dignified answer.

"Kagome… I can't"

She cut him a scorching look of seething hatred and he knew the labor demon was in charge of her again. "Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari!"

Nothing happened but the prayer beads, he still wore under his shirt jumped against his chest. Inuyasha looked down in surprise; the beads hadn't budged in over seventeen years. '_She must be really pissed, thank the Gods I was not born a woman.'_

The nurse appeared, "Sounds like we are ready for the epidural."

Grateful Inuyasha nodded and stepped back allowing the technician to insert the needle into Kagome's back. Tears ran down her face at the sting of the thick needle and his hands clenched at his sides.

The nurse passed him a fresh cup of ice chips, "Now she can have some more but don't over do it." Then she whispered in his ear, "Don't worry give her a few minutes and she'll like you again."

That was good to know. And the nurse was right. Ten minutes later he was rubbing her shoulders when she whispered, "Inuyasha?"

"Hmm?" he asked not knowing what to expect.

She hung her head and his hands skimmed up her bare skin to her neck. "I'm sorry for what I said about Kikyo…"

"There's a lot going on and I just need you to relax. Don't worry about it."

Kagome paused and he heard her answer, "Oh I'm not sorry I called her an undead bitch. It's just that I'd never let her have you."

He sighed then asked in an over enthusiastic tone, "Hey are you ready for some more ice chips?" Soon the creature that inhabited his wife would be gone.

Dr. Goodman appeared in the doorway. "Okay folks lets turn this kid."

Inuyasha took a seat in the chair by Kagome's bed but the Doctor shook her head. "This will take a bit and there won't be any room in here for you. Why don't you get a drink or go for a walk."

He shook his head and his hair, tied back in a long pony tail, moved with him as he crossed his arms. "I go where she goes and stay where she stays."

Kagome's eyes teared, '_he's never really changed. He'll always be my stubborn hanyou and unending protector.' _

The Doctor smiled, "Really you can just stand outside. I'll call you back in when there's some more space."

Inuyasha frowned and narrowed his eyes. "No."

"Okay then let me put this another way." Dr. Goodman removed her glasses and bent over Inuyasha whispering in his ear. "I know your _guest_ has snuck a sword of some kind up here. That is strictly forbidden but I ignored it because I'm not an ignorant woman. Push your luck and both he and your precious sword will be removed and forced to spend the night in jail."

Inuyasha swallowed with anger and relief. Kagome was his wife, his life and his mate. How dare this woman threaten him?

Yet it was a relief to know the Tenseiga was close by, just in case. However the idea of anyone trying to drag Sesshomaru off to a jail cell was entertaining and if it was any other day he would've said 'Go for it!' and followed her with a camcorder.

Deep Brown eyes met black and the good doctor nodded towards the door. Inuyasha stood. "I'll be back soon Kagome."

She was silent as he kissed her forehead and left.

---

Sesshomaru was sitting in the waiting room doing what he did best, looking bored.

Inuyasha flopped down on the grey couch.

Sesshomaru turned a cool golden eye on him, "She's done already?"

Inuyasha spat, "They threw me out."

Sesshomaru laughed, "These doctors are wiser than I ever imagined."

The former hanyou shot him a death glare. "Oh go pour yourself a big old frosty mug of SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Silence.

Then the Taiyokai lifted a smug brow, "I trust she's well."

Inuyasha's blunt nails dug into the couch, "Yeah they're turning the baby. I guess we'll know soon if she'll need that surgery."

He spotted a long bundle wrapped in a white beach towel hidden behind the couch on the opposite wall. "Thanks."

If Sesshomaru was surprised by his half brother's words his expression didn't show it. "It was embarrassingly easy."

Inuyasha leaned his head back and studied the ceiling tiles. "Yeah maybe but Doc knows you have it."

Sesshomaru frowned, "I don't like her."

"We don't have to like her…we have to trust her." Inuyasha pulled his dark pony tail free from the collar of his scrubs. If Kagome died and left him alone and mortal in this era; he'd hunt down that damned know-it-all doctor and eviscerate her.

* * *

--

Notes:

Yes Kagome could be accused of being OCC but she is an extreme situation so please forgive me.

Yes Inuyasha can read! I remember in the magna (don't remember the volume) seeing him read some of Kagome's textbooks. Please consider that the show on Cartoon Network tends to dumb him down a bit.

I've tried to be as accurate as possible and have obtained all my childbirth information from my friends and colleagues, most of who are all pregnant and due any minute. I have to say after talking to them I am petrified of the whole process and am now seriously considering adoption.


	8. Family: The Ties that Bind

_Chapter Eight _

_Family: The Ties that Bind_

The turn took ninety minutes of prep work but went well and the baby moved. Now it was just a matter of waiting to see if the baby would make an appearance on her own.

The fetal heart monitor sat in the room keeping time and so far according to the doctor everything was as it should be.

However Kagome's temperament wasn't much improved.

Sesshomaru made a single appearance in her room but after one good measure of her new personality he decided he was needed in the waiting room. Apparently the couch was lonely.

Inuyasha was flabbergasted; he'd never seen the Taiyokai back down before. Unbeknownst to Inuyasha Kagome had; when he'd lost control and turned on his half brother, eyes red and claws out. Today though it was Inuyasha bearing witness to a demon of an entirely different caliber.

Kagome cut Sesshomaru down when he referred to the human race as cockroaches and he swept by Inuyasha muttering under his breath, "I give her half an hour before her head spins and she spews pea soup."

Inuyasha cracked a grin at her as the door shut, "Damn, I love you."

Kagome huffed, "You'd fricking better after this. I swear to the Gods I'm getting you fixed."

His face paled and his voice went up an octave, "Umm Kagome...I'm a person...you can't have that done."

She shot back, "Who said anything about _having _it done? I can do it right now." She lifted a shaky hand and made a half hearted grab for him.

Inuyasha stepped out of her reach and shuddered as he leaned over to press the nurse call button. When the blonde peered in the doorway he asked, "Are you sure the epidural thing is working?"

She checked it diligently, "Mr. Inu, its fine. It's just a long labor."

He checked the wall clock and saw it was noon. Kagome asked, "We've been here since last night...how much longer before we know how this will end?"

"Let me get your Doctor."

Thirty minutes later Dr. Goodman arrived. "Let's check you and run a few tests."

She glanced at Inuyasha, "If you'd like to step out we'll come get you when we know something. It should only take a few minutes."

This time he didn't have to be told twice and oddly enough he was almost looking forward to Sesshomaru's company.

----

A few minutes in doctor speak can really be several hours. This day Inuyasha was fortunate that it was only ninety minutes before a blonde nurse appeared in the waiting room.

"Mr. Inu-Ya-sho?" She asked uncertain how to pronounce his name.

He was on his feet and at attention in mere moments, "Yes?"

She smiled, "Your wife is already pushing and she's...asking for you."

He followed her back to the room where Kagome was sitting up, exhausted but determined.

He rushed to her side and took her hand in his. "Kagome?"

She gave him a brave sweaty smile, "Inuyasha. I'm still here."

He answered, "So I see. Are you ready to do this thing?"

Kagome's usually dark pupils were almost a deep ocean blue. She was drawing on her miko powers for energy reserves and he would've given anything to be able to help her.

"I…I'm so tired."

Inuyasha checked the clock and saw they'd been in the hospital for well over eighteen hours. "Kagome, I believe in you. I always have. You can do this."

"I'm trying."

The doctor was at the business end of the table and calling out, "Push Kagome!"

"Shhh… its okay just hold on to my hand."

She squeezed his human hand surprising him with the pressure. "You fucking bastard! I can't believe I agreed to this."

He suppressed a grin, '_Now she's starting to sound like me.' _Instead he offered tough encouragement, "Come on wench! We can do this!"

"Don't you dare call me that Inuyasha!" Her words were forced out from between clenched teeth as she bore down at the doctor's command.

"Again, PUSH!"

Kagome did as ordered and Inuyasha worried over her pale face and the dark rings under her eyes. _'Damn wench has always been too thin; I don't know how she can do this.'_

Her eyes closed and she was almost dozing with the exhaustion of it. He put his lips by her ear, "Kagome, stay with me."

She opened her eyes and narrowed them at him, "Believe me when I say I couldn't leave here if I wanted to."

Her words brought a grin to Inuyasha's lips. "Keep it up. Remember when Kaguya took you to her castle?"

"Kagome push!"

She winced and bore down. "Yeah but you…you came for me…"

"Push!"

Inuyasha kissed her hand where her fingers were wrapped in his, "But I didn't save you. You saved me, that's what you've always done. "

"Push, I need a good long one this time. Kagome I can see the head."

Kagome gasped and pushed. When her breath returned she said, "Inuyasha go see our daughter. She's almost here."

He looked up at the doctor who seemed to have the situation under control. "Yeah she is. You know that doc's all right."

"No…go see her…" Kagome's eyes shut.

"Push! We're getting the head. Keep it up."

That's when Inuyasha realized, Kagome wanted him to get up and look.

At that.

The birth.

Inuyasha wasn't squeamish. He'd been impaled, blown up, thrown off several cliffs, broken all his limbs multiple times, and buried more rotting corpses than he could count. But she wanted him to look

His stomach turned over in his chest and he glanced up at the nurse who'd over heard Kagome's words. She nodded at him and he saw her smile under the mask. "It's fine really, go on up."

He stood and brushed off his foreboding reluctance. Naraku was always in a pile of massive rolling gooey guts. But this was Kagome and _his_ son. It wasn't a big deal. Women had babies every day; hell Darryl had four of them.

The end of the bed was miles away but it only took him five steps before he was at the doctor's side. The nurse led him by the elbow so he was standing behind the doctor's left shoulder with a perfect view of everything.

Inuyasha's dark eyes widened as he took in the bloody wiggling mess that was the '_beautiful'_ process of life. Then his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell over like a sack of rocks.

Without missing a beat Dr. Goodman called out, "We've got a fainter!"

The nurse broke his fall and propped him up on the chair. Horribly embarrassed but relieved to be out of view of the delivery, Inuyasha stumbled back to Kagome.

She was past the point of talking and was just pushing and panting. He held her hand, wiped her forehead and whispered his love and encouragement, all the while praying that she would NEVER ask him to _look_ again.

Dr. Goodman called out, "One more good push, come on Kagome we have the shoulders."

"One…, Two…, Three…,"

Five minutes later the doctor held a tiny red baby. She tied off the umbilical and wrapped the baby in a green sterile blanket. Once the cord was severed the baby broke out into a series of hearty wails.

'She did it. Gods she really did and it's over!'

Kagome face was red and her hair stuck to her sticky skin.

She was the most beautiful vision he'd ever seen. Just as when she'd shot the sacred arrow the brought down Naraku, he was blinded by the light that was her strength and heart.

Inuyasha looked up from his exhausted Kagome to see Dr. Goodman standing over them, "Congratulations Mom and Dad, you have a healthy son."

She put the baby in Kagome's arms and for the second time in his life Inuyasha, the man who didn't even shed a tear when he felled his first love, cried.

The baby's strong angry wails were reason to rejoice. His little face was still squished from birth but he opened his eyes for his first time for a look at his father. Newborns have blue eyes that change later on and weeks go by before they can follow objects with their eyes.

Inuyasha knew this because he'd memorized Kagome's baby books. But his son's eyes were clear, focused, and liquid gold with undeniable dark tilted slits for pupils.

--

After helping Kagome through the afterbirth, Dr. Goodman borrowed the baby for a thorough exam and other unpleasantries.

She returned with the baby and studied his eyes carefully with a pen flashlight.

"There's no doubt he can see. I'd keep an eye on his eyes though." She said smiling at her own pun. "Just to be sure, those pupils should be round but they don't appear to be deformed. I guess you would know more than I do about it as it seems to run in the family."

Kagome was confused by this but she followed Inuyasha's gaze and saw Sesshomaru leaning in the doorway. The Taiyokai said evenly, "They do but they're hardly a… handicap. He'll be fine."

The doctor sat the now clean baby in Inuyasha's arms, picked up her clipboard and left to continue her rounds.

Sesshomaru leaned over Inuyasha's shoulders to see the baby but Inuyasha stepped back out of his reach and growled softly.

Sesshomaru shook his head at the sight of the baby's fine silver white hair and round human ears, "So it's _another_ half breed."

Inuyasha answered in a hushed voice, "We thought he'd be… human."

Sesshomaru cut him a withering glare, "Imbecile why would he be? You aren't human not like your Miko."

He shook his head and wondered why he was telling Inuyasha this. "You are a purified half yokai with yokai genes."

When he got no response from his half brother he asked, "What's the little spawn's name?"

Kagome who realized the weight of Sesshomaru's words, made and instant decision and spoke up. "Inu-Taro."

Inuyasha's heart stopped in his chest, the last conversation they had on names they agreed to name the baby after Kagome's father if it was a boy or Inuyasha's mother if it was a girl.

'_Inu-Taro, first born of Inu-Yasha. God's I don't deserve this woman._'

Sesshomaru cut the thin skin on his palm with the sharp talon on his thumb. He bent over Inuyasha's shoulder and with his index finger, drew a two thin streaks on each of baby Inu's face then put a faint bloody thumb print on his tiny forehead.

"Half breed." Sesshomaru started his speech but Kagome's glare had him revising his words.

He sighed and started over. "_Nephew_, with this blood, the blood of your great yokai ancestors, I call you Inu-Taro. Welcome to the House of Inu. You are hence forth under my protection which you will surely need for you have a half wit mortal for a father. "

Inu-Taro squalled at this and Sesshomaru turned and gave Kagome a polite nod. It was amazing how many generations had passed but her resemblance to Rin was astounding. The connection was strong and he wondered why he hadn't felt it tug at him until now. His head began to hurt and he turned towards Kagome. "Congratulations. It's a mutt."

He stepped towards the door, his duty done. "And if you are inclined to think of me next Christmas, or on any other of your half baked human holidays, don't." And with that he was gone.

Inuyasha's lips hovered over his son as he whispered, "Keep an eye on that one, someday you're gonna be responsible for the kicking of his ass." Then he grinned, "But only if I don't get him first."

He walked the baby over to Kagome's bed. She wouldn't be running in the Cooper River Bridge walk anytime soon but after the addition of electrolytes in her IV she was much more energetic.

Inuyasha carefully passed Kagome the baby making sure he supported his tiny head during the transfer.

She pressed the baby to her breast as Inuyasha slid onto the narrow bed beside her and pulled her into his arms. His son begin his dinner while Kagome watched intently.

"Kagome…he's amazing." His voice almost broke with emotion. The world fell away leaving only the three of them.

"Yeah…" she whispered.

Inu-Taro's golden eyes were open and she ran her hand over his small head marveling over his perfection and silver hair. "He's not quite human but we'll manage. We've always have."

Inuyasha snorted with pride, "He'll learn to use Tetsusaiga."

Kagome blinked, "On what? The local watermelon patch?"

When he gave no answer, she said in a warning tone, "Inuyasha! He will NOT be doing battle with his uncle. The man was here for his birth for Gods' sake!"

Inuyasha muttered, "Keh, we'll just see about that; Pup's not going anywhere for a while anyway."

Kagome closed her eyes and pressed Taro to her protectively, "He won't be doing any fighting. I'm raising him as a pacifist!"

Inuyasha crossed his arms and scoffed, "Keh. Good luck, but did you hear that wail? He's already got it in for the asshole."

She winced at the pride in his tone and warned, "Please...watch your language."

He rolled his eyes but said, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Then Kagome said, "I may have said somethings….earlier that I didn't really mean…"

Inuyasha cracked a fast grin and pressed his face in her hair, "That's okay Kagome, because when you asked me to watch the birth…I was…cool with it."

She frowned," No you weren't! You nearly fell on a nurse!"

"No I didn't, the same way you never said a damned thing about Kikyo." His voice was smooth with the happiest tone she'd ever heard him use when mentioning _that_ name.

Kagome's eyes widened in understanding and she turned her head to kiss his lips. "What goes on in the delivery room _stays_ in the delivery room. If anyone asks I'll tell them you were a pillar of unending, un-queasy strength."

Inuyasha ran a finger over his son's tiny round ear, "I knew he was a boy." He looked up at Kagome with a proud gleam flashing in his dark eyes, "Woman you were wrong!"

She smiled softly, "Enjoy it while you can because it doesn't happen _that_ often."

Inu-Taro hiccupped and she realized now she had two hanyous and wondered what the hell she'd gotten herself into.

---

Nine weeks later...

Kagome sat in the wicker rocker in front of the open window. Taro was finally asleep. It was momentarily quiet and all was right with her world.

The baby's hair was still silver and his eyes only became more pronounced with each passing day. But in today's world of over political correctness she wasn't too concerned.

The day before she caught Taro growling at Kiki who still didn't know what to make of him. Somehow she didn't have to ask the doctor to know that other babies didn't typically growl. Inuyasha surprised her by growling back and now Taro and him enjoyed a great secret game she could never learn to play.

She wasn't too worried though; Taro knew who was in charge of his dinner.

Kagome heard the squeak of the floorboard and knew Inuyasha was standing behind her. Taro yawned in his sleep flashing his tiny pink gums.

Kagome lifted a brow and wondered if he'd sprout a set of tiny fangs to compliment his eyes.

Inuyasha leaned over her and pressed a soft kiss into her neck just under her ear. She turned her head to face him and brushed her hand over his face. "Kagome…"

"Yes?" she whispered not wanting to wake the baby.

"He's the greatest thing we've ever done."

She smiled. "What about restoring the Shikon no Tama?"

He shook his head, "Can't compare."

She couldn't resist adding, "And killing Naraku."

Inuyasha grinned and his dark eyes flashed. "Nothing to it. Though all we really needed was a bunch of pregnant women. Ya'll are fearsome."

Kagome rolled her eyes and leaned back in the rocker. "Men are _such_ babies."

Inuyasha snorted, "Woman I have a huge sword that says different."

"Yeah, yeah it's all about that stupid sword." She turned back to her sleeping baby hanyou.

"It's ALWAYS about the sword." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

Kagome leaned back and let him kiss her soundly on the lips. She grinned wickedly at her husband. "You do realize I wasn't talking about the Tetsusaiga."

He nipped the edge of her jaw and her blood took up a familiar hum. He pressed his face into her neck and she felt him smile. "Neither was I."

---

Notes:

I hope this fic inspired you to check out the other Hanyou fics (_Southern Fried Hanyou & The Hanyou Hits the Frying Pan_). I don't have any immediate plans to add to this series but as soon as I have an idea that will work with a human Inuyasha I won't be surprised if it made an appearance here, though I am running out names involving the word Hanyou and cooking implements. Suggestions are welcome…just in case I come up with another one. (wink!) Winner will get a dedication on the next fic whenever that is.

I'd like to think this series is unique because there aren't too many other human Inuyasha fics. Though the most famous one is The Hero in the 21st Century, it's a must read and can be found at hibernatingbats dot com.

I had a blast writing this and hope you had a blast reading.

_Fin!_


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